If no one noticed my shout out:
“OK, that’s IT. I’m giving up on you, Juice. I’m giving up on you for GOOD. We’re too far apart now anyway. So… well, goodbye to my feelings for you.”
… Perhaps I’m just not as strong as I thought I’d be. (DAMMIT WHUT IS THIS CORNINESS?? >_>) This whole life of mine, you can ask my really close friends, but I showed my actual love for only one person. ONE single human being (uhh, no, crushes don’t count). It was the first time I found almost everything I want in a guy in one single human vessel. I rarely, rarely show my love for any guy, because I don’t trust guys easily, you evil creatures you >_>.
I won’t say anymore because I don’t want to reveal whoever he is. But this a formal (lol, formal, in a blog) goodbye to him. From this day forth, I’m forgetting everything about him (OK… maybe not. Just, you know, the fact that I loved him). We’re too far apart now, and there’s nothing I can do. He merely saw me as either a friend, or another cl—OK not going there. He might have never known how I felt, and that’s fine. I just want him to live on happily. Even if he forgets all about me… then it’ll be the same, because I’ll be forgetting too.
Will I look for someone else? Probably not. I never give my trust to guys as easily as I gave mine to him. No one knows about my bloody past! No one knows the true reason why I don’t know how to trust people! No one even knows that I despise someone so much who caused all my anxiety to trust others that I want to ruin said person’s life, or at least send him to hell!
DAMN IT. DAMN IT ALL.
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